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Chirurg, inżynier budowlany i informatyk dyskutowali, jaki zawód był pierwszy na świecie.

  • Na początku był chirurg - mówi chirurg - dlatego, że z żebra mężczyzny została zrobiona kobieta, kto to mógł zrobić jak nie chirurg?
  • Nie, na początku był inżynier budowlany - mówi inżynier budowlany - przecież wcześniej był chaos i ktoś z tego chaosu zbudował świat, kto jak nie inżynier budowlany?
  • Zaraz zaraz - mówi informatyk - ale przecież ten chaos też ktoś musiał stworzyć!
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Inżynierowie: mechanik, chemik i informatyk jadą jednym samochodem. Nagle silnik prycha, buczy, silnik gaśnie, auto staje.

  • To coś z silnikiem - mówi mechanik.
  • Myślę, że paliwo jest złej jakości - stwierdza chemik.
  • Wysiądźmy i wsiądźmy, może to pomoże - mówi informatyk.
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Jasio pyta Tatę:

  • Jak myślisz, ile kilometrów jest z Warszawy do Lublina?
  • Sto osiemdziesiąt.
  • A z powrotem?
  • Tyle samo.
  • Niemożliwe! Przecież między gwiazdką a Nowym Rokiem jest tylko jeden tydzień, a między Nowym Rokiem a gwiazdką prawie cały rok!
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W grudniu Jasio napisał pocztówkę do Mikołaja:

  • 'Mikołaju! Mam biednych rodziców. Prosze Cię, przynieś mi rower górski i klocki Lego.'

Na poczcie jedna z urzędniczek niechcący przeczytała pocztówkę Jasia. Zrobiło jej się smutno i pokazała ją kolegom z pracy. Wszyscy postanowili zrobić Jasiowi niespodziankę. Złożyli się na klocki Lego i wysłali mu je w paczce.

Po świętach ta sama urzędniczka czyta drugi list od Jasia:

  • 'Mikołaju, dziękuję za klocki. Rower pewnie ukradli na poczcie.'
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Mały Giovani, który jest synem szefa sycylijskiej mafii pisze list do św. Mikołaja:

  • 'Mikołaju! Jak z pewnością wiesz, przez cały rok byłem grzeczny i sprawiłbyś mi wielką przyjemnosć przynosząc kolejkę elektryczną'.

W tym momencie koło pokoju chłopca przechodzi ojciec, więc mały Giovani zaczyna pisać list od nowa:

  • 'Mikołaju, byłem grzeczny, więc przynieś mi dwie kolejki elektryczne'.

Ojciec chłopca wchodzi do środka z kilkoma mafiozami, więc Giovani zaczyna pisać list po raz trzeci:

  • 'Mikołaju, jeśli chcesz jeszcze kiedykolwiek zobaczyć swoją matkę...'
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Gospodarz kupił nowego koguta, który zaraz na podwórku chciał zrobić porządek i pokazać staremu kto tu jest panem. Stary kogut zaproponował:

  • OK, odejdę jeżeli wygrasz ze mną wyścigi na około studni, 50 okrążeń.
  • Nie ma sprawy, no to zaczynamy? - odrzekł młody.
  • Dobra, ale wiesz co, ja znam teren, daję ci pół okrążenia forów.

Młody kogut pewien zwycięstwa zaraz się rzucił do biegu i tak się gonią, ale odległość pozostaje ta sama. W pewnym momencie jakaś ręka chwyta młodego koguta za szyję, na pieniek odrąbuje głowę i słychać:

  • Kur**, to już czwarty pedał w tym miesiącu.
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krótki Deprecated: Function split() is deprecated in /home/livenup/domains/livenup.pl/public_html/wcs/PHPTAL/Context.php on line 235 link do dowcipu » Deprecated: Function split() is deprecated in /home/livenup/domains/livenup.pl/public_html/wcs/PHPTAL/Context.php on line 235 Śmieszny na: Deprecated: Function split() is deprecated in /home/livenup/domains/livenup.pl/public_html/wcs/PHPTAL/Context.php on line 235 4.30
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