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Jakiś facet przyłapuje Fąfarę, jak w lesie ścina choinkę.

  • Co, tniemy choineczkę na święta, bo nie łaska kupić u gajowego?
  • Tak - odpowiada wystraszony Fąfara.
  • W takim razie zetnij pan i dla mnie!
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Jasiu ciągle pierdział w klasie!!! Panią to denerwowało ale musiała wyjść więc kazała dziewczynka pilnować Jasia , a gdyby Jasiu pierdnął mają go wyprowadzić za drzwi!

Pani wyszła Jasiu pierdnął, dziewczynki wyrzuciły Jasia za dzrzwi. Jasiu na korytarzu się śmieje (a na korytarzu było otwarte okno) a akurat tamtędy przechodził dyrektor , który pyta się Jasia: 

  • Chłopczyku dlaczego się śmiejesz??? 

Na to chłopiec odpowiada: 

  • Bo mnie wyrzucili na świeże powietrze a sami duszą się w smrodzie!!! 
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Zdenerwowana matka pisze do nauczycielki:

  •  'Bardzo prosimy już nigdy więcej nie bić Jasia! Bo to słabe, dobre, biedne dziecko. My sami nigdy go nie bijemy. Chyba, że w obronie własnej...'
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Dwaj jaskiniowcy spotykają się na polowaniu.

  • Słyszałem, że kupiłe na targu młodego mamuta.
  • To prawda.
  • Ile waży?
  • Niedużo, 500 kilogramów

Po dwóch tygodniach jaskiniowcy spotykają się znów

  • Jak tam twój mamut?
  • W porządku.
  • A ile teraz waży?
  • 400 kilogramów
  • Przecież dwa tygodnie temu ważył pięćset!Tak, ale wczoraj musiałem go wykastrować, bo dobierał się do wszystkich mamucic w okolicy.
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Na pustym jeszcze placu budowy brygadzista staje przed robotnikami i mówi: 

  • Panowie, budujemy solidnie, bez fuszerki, bez wynoszenia na lewo materiałów. Budujemy jak najlepiej bo budujemy dla siebie! 
  • A co to będzie? - pyta robotnik 
  • IZBA WYTRZEŹWIEŃ 
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Pani kazała dzieciom w klasie rozplanować kolory klasy oczywiście Jasiowi też. 

Pyta się Jasia 

  • Jasiu jak bys pomalował klasę? 

Jasiu mówi:

  • tu bym pierdolnął zielony, tu bym pierdolnął czerwony, a tu bym pierdolnął niebieski! 

Pani mówi:

  • Jasiu jak ty mówisz! Jutro przyjdziesz z tatą!!! 

Na zajutrz Jasiu przyszedł z tatą pani kazała powtórzyć Jasiowi co powiedział wczoraj. 

Jasiu mówi:

  • tu bym pierdolnął zielony, tu bym pierdolnął czerwony, a tu bym pierdolnął niebieski! 

A tata Jasia mówi:

  • CH**WO to rozplanowałeś.
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