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Dwaj staruszkowie spędzają wspólnie święta. Patrząc na gwiazdę betlejemską, jeden z nich wspomina:

  • Moja żona, kiedy zauważyła spadającą gwiazdę, powiedziała: 'pomyśl o czymś, a twoje życzenie spełni się, kiedy gwiazda spadnie'.
  • Co było dalej? - pyta drugi.
  • Życzenie się spełniło. Gwiazda spadła na nią!
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Baca rozwodzi się z Gaździną. Odbywa się rozprawa w sądzie. Sędzia pyta się Gazdy:

  • Powiedzcie, Gazdo, dlaczego chcecie się rozwieść z tą Gaździną, przecież żyjecie razem już 20 lat, w czym wam ona zawiniła?

Gazda na to odpowiada:

  • A bo Panie sędzio, ona mi seksualnie nie odpowiada. 
    Na to w końcu sali podnosi się ze swojego miejsca juhas i woła:
  • Głupoty, Gazdo, gadacie! Całej wsi odpowiada, a wam nie!
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Para staruszków kładzie się spać.

  • Umyłeś zęby? - pyta żona.
  • Tak, kochanie. Twoje też.
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  • Czy twój narzeczony jest atrakcyjny?
  • Jeszcze jak! Po matce ma niebieskie oczy, a po ojcu willę i mercedesa.
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Nowakowa wyjechała na wakacje, ale wcześniej zostawiła mężowi karteczki z rozmaitymi wskazówkami. Jedną z nich Nowak znalazł przypiętą do swojego najlepszego garnituru:

'A dokąd to się wybierasz?'

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  • Marian, ty mnie już nie kochasz! Ty psa kochasz bardziej ode mnie!
  • Uspokój się, oboje was kocham tak samo.
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