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Chirurg, inżynier budowlany i informatyk dyskutowali, jaki zawód był pierwszy na świecie.

  • Na początku był chirurg - mówi chirurg - dlatego, że z żebra mężczyzny została zrobiona kobieta, kto to mógł zrobić jak nie chirurg?
  • Nie, na początku był inżynier budowlany - mówi inżynier budowlany - przecież wcześniej był chaos i ktoś z tego chaosu zbudował świat, kto jak nie inżynier budowlany?
  • Zaraz zaraz - mówi informatyk - ale przecież ten chaos też ktoś musiał stworzyć!
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Młody lekarz przyjmuje swój pierwszy poród. Po fakcie pyta ordynatora o ocenę swojej pracy. Ten stwierdza z uśmiechem:

  • Nieźle, młody człowieku, naprawdę nieźle. Ale na przyszłośc niech pan zapamięta: po odebraniu porodu klapsa w pupę dajemy noworodkowi, a nie matce.
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Lekarz do pacjenta:

  • Niestety, skończył się nam limit operacji na ten rok.
  • To co, mam umrzeć?
  • A to co innego. Mamy jeszcze pieniądze na kilka sekcji zwłok.
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Psychiatra zadaje pacjentowi pytanie:

  • Ile nóg ma pies?
  • Cztery.
  • A ile ma uszu?
  • Dwoje!
  • A oczu?
  • Przepraszam, panie doktorze, czy pan nigdy nie widział psa?
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Przychodzi baba do laryngologa:

  • Pan jest ten doktor od uszu?
  • No, w pewnym sensie tak.
  • Bo mój stary się szwenda po nocach z kolegami, wraca pijany.
  • Powiesz mu pan do słuchu?
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Lekarz pyta pacjentkę:

  • Jest pani mężatką?
  • Rozwódką.
  • Ma pani dzieci?
  • Czworo: jedno z pierwszym mężem, dwójkę z drugim i jedno sama.
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