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Przed sądem oskarżony wyjaśnia, dlaczego zabił przechodnia:

Jadę sobie spokojnie ulicą, nagle jakiś facet zatrzymuje mnie i mówi:

  • Dawaj pieniądze!!

Dlaczego? - pytam groźnie.

  • Prima Aprilis!!

To ja mu naplułam w oko i mówię:

  • Śmigus Dyngus!!

Wtedy on gasi papierosa na moim czole i mówi:

  • Popielec!!

No więc ja go przydusiłem i mówię:

  • Zaduszki!!
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Baca rozwodzi się z Gaździną. Odbywa się rozprawa w sądzie. Sędzia pyta się Gazdy:

  • Powiedzcie, Gazdo, dlaczego chcecie się rozwieść z tą Gaździną, przecież żyjecie razem już 20 lat, w czym wam ona zawiniła?

Gazda na to odpowiada:

  • A bo Panie sędzio, ona mi seksualnie nie odpowiada. 
    Na to w końcu sali podnosi się ze swojego miejsca juhas i woła:
  • Głupoty, Gazdo, gadacie! Całej wsi odpowiada, a wam nie!
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  • Dlaczego zamordował pan swoją pierwsza żonę?!
  • Bo mnie nie kochała.
  • A drugą?!
  • Bo ja jej nie kochałem.
  • A dlaczego zamordował pan trzecią żonę?!
  • Z przyzwyczajenia.
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Baca jest sądzony za zabójstwo turysty, ale się nie przyznaje.
Sędzia pyta:

  • No to jak to było, baco?
  • Ano nijak. Siedziołek se na przyzbie i strugałek osikowy kołecek. A ten turysta siad se koło mnie i zacoł jeść cereśnie. I co zjod, to mi pesteczkom trach!!! w oko. A jo nic, ino se strugom ten kołecek. A on znowu zjod i trach!!! mnie pesteczkom w oko. A jo nic, dalej strugom.. A on łostatniom cereśnie zjod, rzucił mi torebkę pode nogi, wstał i tak się niesceśliwie potknoł, że upadł na ten kołecek, com go strugoł. I tak, panie, cosik ze 27 razy...
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Wszystko co śmieszne !!!

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