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Czym różni się nauczycielka od nauczyciela?

  • Nauczycielka drapie się po przerwie a nauczyciel po dzwonku.
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Dyrektor szkoły przechodzi korytarzem obok klasy, z której słychać straszny wrzask. Wpada, łapie za rękaw najgłośniej wrzeszczącego, wyciąga go na korytarz i stawia w kącie. 

Po chwili z klasy wychodzi kolejnych trzech młodzianów, którzy pytają: 

  • Czy możemy już iść do domu? 
  • A z jakiej racji? 
  • No...przecież skoro nasz nowy pan od matematyki stoi w kącie, to chyba lekcji nie będzie, prawda?
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Leci w samolocie w jednym rzędzie: 2 Arabów (od strony okna)i Żyd (od przejścia). Żyd w jarmułce, pejsy - wyluzowany kompletnie - rozpiął kołnierzyk, zdjął buty.

Arabowie patrzą na niego nienawistnie. Po godzinie lotu jeden z nich wstaje i mówi:

  • Idę po Colę.

Żyd na to:

  • Ależ nie, ja pójdę, po co się przeciskać.

I poszedł. W tym czasie Arab napluł mu do buta. Żyd wraca, daje Colę Arabowi. Po kolejnej godzinie drugi Arab mówi:

  • Idę po Colę.

Żyd jak poprzednio:

  • Ja pójdę.

I poszedł. Drugi Arab napluł mu do drugiego buta. Żyd wraca, daje Cole Arabowi.

Po godzinie samolot ląduje, Żyd zbiera się zapina kołnierzyk, założył jednego buta, skrzywił się i mówi:

  • Znowu ta straszna nienawiść między naszymi narodami - to plucie do butów, to szczanie do Coli...
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Juhas widzi bacę prowadzącego duże stado owiec.

  • Dokąd je prowadzicie?
  • Do domu. Będę je hodował.
  • Przecie nie macie obory, ani zagrody! Gdzie będziecie je trzymać?
  • W mojej izbie.
  • Toż to straszny smród!
  • Cóż, będą się musiały przyzwyczaić.
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Baca rozwodzi się z Gaździną. Odbywa się rozprawa w sądzie. Sędzia pyta się Gazdy:

  • Powiedzcie, Gazdo, dlaczego chcecie się rozwieść z tą Gaździną, przecież żyjecie razem już 20 lat, w czym wam ona zawiniła?

Gazda na to odpowiada:

  • A bo Panie sędzio, ona mi seksualnie nie odpowiada. 
    Na to w końcu sali podnosi się ze swojego miejsca juhas i woła:
  • Głupoty, Gazdo, gadacie! Całej wsi odpowiada, a wam nie!
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Siedzi Baca razem ze skoczkami narciarskimi i wysłuchuje ich opowieści. Pierwszy skoczek chwali się, że skoczył na odległość 100 metrow, drugi, że pobił rekord skoczni.

Na to Baca mówi:

  • Jak ja skoczyłem z tej skoczni to lecę, lecę, patrzę, mijam koniec wybiegu, tam gdzie zatrzymują się inni, mijam Zakopane, mijam Gubałówkę, a tu jak halny nie powieje i wróciło mnie na 30. metr
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krótki Deprecated: Function split() is deprecated in /home/livenup/domains/livenup.pl/public_html/wcs/PHPTAL/Context.php on line 235 link do dowcipu » Deprecated: Function split() is deprecated in /home/livenup/domains/livenup.pl/public_html/wcs/PHPTAL/Context.php on line 235 Śmieszny na: Deprecated: Function split() is deprecated in /home/livenup/domains/livenup.pl/public_html/wcs/PHPTAL/Context.php on line 235 4.20
Deprecated: Function split() is deprecated in /home/livenup/domains/livenup.pl/public_html/wcs/PHPTAL/Context.php on line 235 Deprecated: Function split() is deprecated in /home/livenup/domains/livenup.pl/public_html/wcs/PHPTAL/Context.php on line 235 « Poprzednia (9) Deprecated: Function split() is deprecated in /home/livenup/domains/livenup.pl/public_html/wcs/PHPTAL/Context.php on line 235 Deprecated: Function split() is deprecated in /home/livenup/domains/livenup.pl/public_html/wcs/PHPTAL/Context.php on line 235 Następna (11) » Deprecated: Function split() is deprecated in /home/livenup/domains/livenup.pl/public_html/wcs/PHPTAL/Context.php on line 235 Deprecated: Function split() is deprecated in /home/livenup/domains/livenup.pl/public_html/wcs/PHPTAL/Context.php on line 235 1 Deprecated: Function split() is deprecated in /home/livenup/domains/livenup.pl/public_html/wcs/PHPTAL/Context.php on line 235 Deprecated: Function split() is deprecated in 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Kawały Deprecated: Function split() is deprecated in /home/livenup/domains/livenup.pl/public_html/wcs/PHPTAL/Context.php on line 235 Dowcipy

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