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Komisja Europejska postanowiła wybudować bramę w trzecie tysiąclecie jako symbol coraz ściślejszych więzi łączących państwa członkowskie. Wyłoniono podkomisję do przeprowadzenia przetargu, która ów przetarg ogłosiła. Do wykonania bramy zgłosiło się trzech oferentów: Turek, Niemiec i Polak. 

Pierwszy ofertę przedstawił Turek: brama solidna, projekt kompletny - wszystko w porządku - koszt: 6000 euro. 

Drugi był Niemiec: projekt w zasadzie nie odbiegał od projektu Turka, podobne wykonanie, cena: 10.000 Euro. Komisja pyta: czemu aż 10.000! Niemiec na to: solidny niemiecki projekt, solidne niemieckie materiały solidne niemieckie wykonanie, a to kosztuje. OK. 

Ostatni był Polak, który przedstawił projekt bardzo podobny, wręcz identyczny do projektów Turka i Niemca, ale cena wynosiła 56.000 Euro. Tu komisja o mało nie spadła z krzeseł, ale pytają, czemu tak astronomicznie wysoka kwota, na co Polak: 

  • 25.000 Euro dla mnie, 25.000 dla Szanownej Komisji za trud włożony w przeprowadzenie przetargu i skuteczne jego rozstrzygnięcie, a 6.000 dla Turka, bo ktoś te bramę musi postawić...
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Wysoko w górach w lodowej grocie siedzą dwa straszliwe Yeti i obgryzają kosteczki. Mniejszy straszliwy Yeti przerywa na chwilę i pyta większego: 

  • Tato, po co my się tak ukrywamy przed człowiekami? I dlaczego napadamy na nich zawsze od tyłu? 
  • Bo widzisz, synku - odpowiada większy straszliwy Yeti dokładnie oblizując palce - lepiej smakują nie obesrane.
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  • Jakie jest credo człowieka sowieckiego?
  • Lepiej na wszystko patrzeć przez palce niż przez kraty.
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  • Jakie są trzy drogi do socjalizmu?
  • Droga Lenina, droga wędlina i droga benzyna...
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  • Jaka jest różnica między demokracją a demokracją socjalistyczną?
  • Mniej więcej taka, jak między krzesłem a krzesłem elektrycznym!
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II wojna światowa. Marszałek Żukow wychodzi z gabinetu Stalina zdenerwowany, na korytarzu zaklął i mruknął 'A to skurwysyn wąsaty!'. Ale przed drzwiami stał oficer ochrany i zareagował natychmiast pytając:

  • Co powiedzieliście towarzyszu?

Żukow na to, że nic.

  • No to wrócimy do gabinetu tow. Stalina i wyjaśnimy sprawę - powiedział oficer.

Wrócili więc i oficer melduje:

  • Towarzyszu Stalin, ja będąc na służbie usłyszałem jak marszałek Żukow powiedział 'A to skurwysyn wąsaty!'.

Stalin popatrzył na Żukowa i zapytał:

  • Kogo mieliście na myśli towarzyszu?

Żukow natychmiast odpowiedział:

  • Jak to kogo, Hitlera!

Wtedy Stalin popatrzył przeciągle na oficera ochrany i zapytał:

  • A wy towarzyszu, kogo mieliście na myśli?
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krótki Deprecated: Function split() is deprecated in /home/livenup/domains/livenup.pl/public_html/wcs/PHPTAL/Context.php on line 235 link do dowcipu » Deprecated: Function split() is deprecated in /home/livenup/domains/livenup.pl/public_html/wcs/PHPTAL/Context.php on line 235 Śmieszny na: Deprecated: Function split() is deprecated in /home/livenup/domains/livenup.pl/public_html/wcs/PHPTAL/Context.php on line 235 4.60
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